Well, outing myself as transgender and pregnant at work has continued to go well.
I feel incredibly lucky to work in a department/research center with such progressive, loving, family friendly faculty and staff. I am almost certain I would have faced more strife at my previous place of employment (an LGBTQ community center) If this sounds strange to you, just trust me, even the queer and trans community can have rigid gender expectations at times.
Today I finally met with the second faculty member I work with to disclose my news. I admit I was dragging my heels a little to meet with him. First, his communication style is a bit awkward. Second, I’ve never ever had a non-academic/non-work related conversation with him. He breezed in the office wanting to meet 8 minutes before his next meeting. Ugh…okay, 8 minutes I thought to tell a really LONG story. So he got the very condensed version that ended with …”so basically I’m 6 months pregnant!” He really empathized with our challenges as a queer couple trying to bring children into our lives. He even revealed that him and his wife struggled with fertility issues and used IVF to conceive their children. He was warm and congratulatory. I do think he was a little surprised that I was already 6 months along and he was just finding out…or maybe that he couldn’t tell/didn’t notice I was, uh, growing larger in the gut.
In other news, since more people know at work I wondered what my experience of being pregnant and open about it would be. Thus far people are acting as if the pregnancy is invisible. I’m not sure if they are doing this out of respect for my transmale identity or maybe they are uncomfortable, and wonder if they should ask a pregnant guy the same questions they ask other pregnant women. On the one hand I like this strategy. I can come to work and fly under the radar. But, sometimes it feels a little strange to have such a big thing happening in my life ignored. But…there are plenty of non-work related people in my life to love on my preggo man self and make me feel visible so it’s really not that big of a deal.
Lately I’ve also been looking for any indication that others can tell I’m pregnant. This morning this woman made a very big deal about holding the door for me. It seemed exaggerated and strange and when I started thinking about it I’ve noticed more folks of all genders trying to open doors lately. Then I sit and wonder (obsess) if EVERYONE knows I’m pregnant! LOL.
Still waiting for the first person to ask/say something!