Our Birth Plan

I originally password protected this post because there are family members who now have access to this blog and we were waiting until the birth of our child to announce his sex… which is male. Yes, readers – you now know that we’re having an amazing, deliciously imperfect little boy, whom we plan to encourage to express his gender however he wishes/decides. This post, which contains the finalized version of our birth plan, specifically mentions Falco’s sex.

Our Birth Hopes

Gestational Parent/Father-to-be: K
Non-Gestational Mother-to-be: C
Doula: Marie
Location: Our Hospital Birthing Suite

Hi there and thank you for your care and expertise during this exciting moment in our growing family! We’re K and C and this is our first baby. We appreciate you taking the time to learn about us and our birth preferences.

It is really important to us that you know that K, who is delivering our child, identifies as a man, uses male pronouns such as he/him, and will be our child’s father. We’d like you to also be aware that C is our baby’s mother. While we know that mistakes and confusion can occur, we hope that you will do your very best to refer to us using these terms.

Birth preferences:
We know that labor and delivery are unpredictable. Ultimately, we want the health of K and our baby to take precedence. Whenever possible in non-emergent situations, we’d like to discuss all procedures, including their risks and benefits, before they take place.

Labor:

  • We would like only necessary people in the room during labor and delivery. This includes C, our doula, a nurse, and our doctor.
  • K wishes to be able to move freely in order to naturally manage his pain. To this end, he would like a port to be inserted upon our admission, and for an IV to be used only if it is determined to be necessary. He would also like intermittent monitoring instead of constant monitoring techniques, when at all possible.
  • K wishes to be able to utilize natural comfort measures, including but not limited to the use of a shower or tub, changing positions, and the ability to walk to stimulate/progress labor.
  • We are aware of the availability of pain-relieving medication, and will request it if the father feels it is necessary. Please do not offer pain medication.

Delivery:

  • K would like to be able to push as he feels naturally compelled to do so (i.e. spontaneous/patient-directed pushing style). Please do not direct his pushing by counting.
  • We would like the ability to try different pushing positions, including but not limited to squatting, hands and knees, and toilet sitting. Please do not limit K to birthing our baby while he is on his back.

Cesarean Section:

  • We wish for both C and our doula to be present if a cesarean section is necessary.
  • So that we feel involved in the process, we would like for the doctor or nurse to describe what is taking place during the cesarean section.
  • While K is recovering from the cesarean section, our infant should remain with C, unless he is experiencing a medical emergency that requires immediate medical care.

Newborn care:

  • Cord cutting: We wish to allow our child to continue to be attached to the umbilical cord until it has stopped pulsing. At that time, C would like to cut the cord.
  • Temperature regulation: We wish for our child to be placed, skin-to-skin, with C or K, immediately after birth.
  • Eye treatment: We wish to forgo the antibiotic ointment in our child’s eyes.
  • Rooming in: We wish for our child to remain in our room at all times, unless he is experiencing a medical emergency that requires immediate medical care.
  • Circumcision: We do not want our child to be circumcised.
  • Feeding: We are unable to breastfeed our child and would like to use bottled formula.
  • Bathing: Due to a risk of severe maternal allergy, please do not bathe our infant with any product other than what we have provided.
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11 thoughts on “Our Birth Plan

  1. What a great plan! I’m glad to see you are prepared, and vocal about your wishes. It’s so important that you two are walking into this knowing exactly what you want. This is so empowering. Cheers!

  2. Pingback: The Long-Awaited Nursery Reveal | The Falco Project

  3. I think your birth plan is great! Its well researched and thought out, but also acknowledges that you realize that sometimes certain interventions are necessary, which I think is very smart.
    And congrats on your little boy as well. I am completely in love with my little man. It’s really weird how naturally taking care of a boy actually came after having two girls. Before he actually got here I couldn’t even picture what it would be like. ❤ I am so excited for two!

  4. Getting so close! Sending courage and good coping vibes for you when the time comes. I hope all the staff orbits around you with love and care for your family, perfectly recomposing from any mistakes and bringing Falco into the world blissfully.

  5. What an extremely well thought out and respectful birth plan you guys have. Great job! I hope the hospital does well with the pronouns and treating K properly. And a little boy! Oh since reading your blog I just knew, I knew, it would be a boy. Congrats so much!

  6. Congrats! I think the birth plan is excellent, especially the first couple paragraphs which make what can be a fairly sterile document into something more conversational.

    • Thanks! Sometimes I fear that birth plans come across as a list of demands. It’s important to us to show our gratitude for the professionals’ hard work and to highlight that our partnership with them during this process really matters to us.

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