Cue temper tantrum.

I can’t believe my ridiculously short maternity leave is almost over. I return for half time work on Monday and for full-time work the following Monday. When I first envisioned this whole motherhood thing, I thought it would be mind numbingly dull and that I’d be literally racing to return to my professional job. While I will say that parenting an infant has been as much work as I had expected, I am definitely dragging my heels about leaving my precious baby. The only consolation is that K and I have staggered our return to work, so E will be home with him for at least a few more weeks.

The first four or five weeks of E’s life have felt like struggling to learn how to run on a hamster wheel. We’ve dealt with inconsolable crying, terrible reflux symptoms, a near constant need to be held during the daytime. E’s just starting to provide us with those moments that make the earlier hardships so worth it – lopsided smiles, funny clucks, coos, etc. I don’t want to miss these moments!

I never thought I would say that I have times during which I really wish I could be a stay at home mom, but I really do. We truly cannot afford for me to do such a thing, though, as my salary quite literally keeps the roof over our heads. I’m grateful for all that we have right now, but it doesn’t usually feel like much, and it would be so much harder if I stayed home.

It’s going to be so hard to leave this face for 8-9 hours each day:

Happy diaper change!

Be prepared for a lot of future pity party mama posts. 😦